Someone feels like they are putting themselves second while being with someone else, sharing and talking (seems relatable to any type of relationship). They feel as if they listen a lot, but nothing is said about them, and they feel blocked in sharing things that "matter" for a fear that the other person might think they are not good listeners. Can you relate?
I'm beginning to think that perhaps I only like people because I think I have to stay. I like you, I like spending time with you, listening to your endless talks about books, sports, or the places you've visited.
But I am also frustrated, deeply frustrated. I don't know if it's anger or resentment, or simply a lack living-in-the-moment attitude that drags me away from the important things.
I wonder how healthy this situation might be for me. I find that I never really tell you anything about myself, or at least anything that I think matters. But then again, why does anything “matter”? Why do I have to urge to tell you things that “matter”? I’m sure I have and I don’t remember. But when I go back home, I sense that I always only listen to you, your difficulties and your thoughts. Are we exchanging anything? I realize that I challenge you and invite you to think, but then nothing is ever said about me. And after all it is my fault, not yours. I act as if everything were fine, as if I had no thoughts, as if I had nothing to say. I limit myself. I put all my energy into you, into focusing on how you feel and all the things you are going through. Is it because we all romanticise so much how we feel when someone listens to us that I want you to think I can be that person for you?
Again I find myself giving up on myself to save someone else. Why am I doing this? And why are you so attached to me? And why do I like you after all? What a harmful and twisted thing this can be.