Uncommon to the Western cultures, arranged marriages are very predominant in Eastern Asian cultures such as Nepal, China and India. Arranged marriages are met mostly in cultures that adhere to Hinduism and adopt the lifestyle that comes with the doctrine. Due to high caste Hindu privileges and power a lot of people even the non-Hindu ones aspire to the same lifestyles. This manner of living revolves around family respect, values and reputation. Thus, arranged marriages are not the mere bond between two souls but a bond between families. The spouses are chosen based on common values and thus a happy healthy bond is predicted. The quality of marriage is very important as it determines factors of stress, mental and physical illness and longevity. An unhappy marriage shows more detrimental effects on health than divorce. Therefore choosing wisely is a must. But are arranged marriages the response to a healthy lifestyle, or the problem? To dive into the nuances of arranged marriage I invite you to read the following article.
The following article contains:
- Definition
- The grounds of arranged marriages.
- Marital quality and well-being
Definition
Arranged marriages are a type of marriage in which family members interfere to choose the future spouse. This is based on socio-economic status, purity (in the case of the bride), family reputation and values. These marriages are predominant in many cultures from the Middle East, South Asia and North Africa. In some cultures arranged marriages are more of a negotiation between parents, in which the future spouses have little or no involvement thus, they meet after their engagement or at the wedding. However, this varies: for example in Japan the parents often know each other. This way it is easier to discriminate if the match is appropriate. The appropriation in Japan is determined by certain attributes named iegura. Iegura refers mostly to the family attributes such as lineage, etiquette, reputation and less to personal attributes. A great difference in iegura between the two families will result in a mismatch and embarrassment for both parties [2].
It is considered that the youth is not well informed, immature and with little or no experience. Because of this it is the duty of the experienced and wise elders of the family to make this decision. In the Western, individualistic cultures people are let to explore the world in order to make the best decision for themselves. In contrast, in more collectivist cultures the young people have a responsibility to their parents group and even ancestors. Love is seen as something that develops over the years and grows based on shared experiences and similar goals. Previous to the wedding, social life is separated based on gender and the meetings before the wedding are done only in the presence of a chaperone. As sex is considered a threath it should be perform solely for conceiving children and as a consequence in some family there is a segregation between the man and the women. The doctrine dictates that one should be concern with the family, caring parents, grandparents and fulfilling their duties
Nowadays, due to colonisations and also globalization the rules are not as strict as they used to be in the past. Even if arranged marriages are still happening parents seem to be more indulgent and let their offsprings have a word in this. They have the opportunity to refuse to walk away and even divorce.
The grounds of arranged marriages
In Nepal we meet hundreds of ethno/religious groups with different cultures, habits, norms and marriage patterns. Despite this, Hinduism constitutes a unifying force and Hindu values are brought into the family life as well. Historically people of other religions have slowly adopted Hinduism to varying degrees. High caste Hindu have a history of privilege and power. Because of this even non-Hindu groups of people aspire to this status, thus they adhere to Hindu and/or imitate their family patterns, rituals and traditions (a process known as Sanskritization or Hinduization)[4, 5].
Hinduism dictates that marriage is a sacral bond between families and it comes with the promise of continuity in the patriarchal family lines that have social, institutional, and deep religious significance [3]. Within Hindu doctrine the youth participation in choosing the future spouse is prohibited. As the woman has to be virgin at the moment of marriage, early marriages are encouraged and arranged by parents. Child marriages were also encouraged and very common until 1950. Normally in arranged marriages spouses are chosen by family members based on their economic status, education, caste family reputation. The soon to be weds are not acquainted before their engagement and they meet only a few times before their wedding.
Marital quality and well-being
Marital quality is an important aspect of life as it dictates people's well being and happiness. Moreover, a large body of literature shows that quality marriage is associated with less depression and fewer cases of illness [9, 10].
Studies have shown that marital relationships hold the greatest significance for health. Although married status can bring a lot of mental and physical benefits, not all marriages are better than no marriages at all. The quality of marriage represents a significant factor in people's longevity and life quality. A “failed” marriage affects health greater than divorce. ``The evidence linking social relationships to health and mortality is as strong as that linking cigarette smoking, blood pressure, and obesity to health” [9, 6].
Choosing the right partner and having a healthy relationship is very important in almost all societies. However a quality marriage is mostly determined by western cultures standards thus, a greater exploration of other cultures' dimensions in regards to marriage needs to be considered. For example in America frequent kissing is associated with a happy, quality marriage whereas in China and Japan this is not the case. In Nepal education seems to be a determinant factor in the quality of a marriage as education is associated with less depression, better communication skills and higher income. In China and India the marriage quality can be shaped by the parent's approval and participation in choosing one's spouse.
People who have a preexisting relationship and choose their spouse based on their compatibility and love as opposed to the ones that are arranged by parents are shown to have a more successful marriage [1]. In arranged marriages it has been observed a higher level of domineering. The dominance of the father over the daughter is substituted by the dominance of the husband over the wife therefore, vindictive attitudes are born. However, one must take into consideration that factors such as education, family traditions and customs play a role in the way men treat women and vice versa. Despite this it is implied that they try to comply with the families desire rather than trying to foster love and care and this often results into a less quality union,
Couples who married for love showed higher social inhibition. Since marrying for love is discouraged in some asian societies, parents are trying to hide this from their relatives and friends. Couples who are married for love and discouraged to socialize therefore they display more socially avoidant behaviors.
When married couples from the US were compared with the ones from India the study showed that love loyalty and marriage satisfaction were more relevant for the US couples whereas couples from India love seems to be less important and less of a representative for a successful matching [7].
However, the study showed that there was no significant difference in satisfaction between two studied groups. In terms of religious (spiritual) views and wellness (nutritional apport) the Indian group scored higher.
Although we observe differences between arranged marriages and love marriages, there is also a spectrum of arranged marriages as well. Some are more successful and offer more satisfaction as the couple is permitted to have a say in this, and some are completely disastrous as they are forced. Forced marriages can lead to a number of mental health issues. In China one of the most common events that leads to suicice is dissatisfaction in family relations and love affairs. In India family disharmony and family issues is associated with suicide [8].
Conclusion...
Arranged marriages are custom specific to a few collectivistic societies where the honor of the family is so important that the entire family is involved in the decision making process of a marriage. Usually the parents are the ones to choose the future spouse as they must assure that there is an appropriate match and the union between the two families is a successful one. Because they are well thought through by the elders and they are based on family reputation, common values and religion, arranged marriages can be successful. Still studies suggest that this is not always the case as there is a spectrum of arranged marriages that range from a happy union to a forced one. The quality of life and longevity is associated with marriage quality. Therefore a happy marriage dictates the health outcomes of the person involved. Research suggests that there is a difference between arranged marriages and marriages based on love but while comparing we must take into consideration how people from different cultures perceive a successful marriage, we must consider the tools of measurement and the fact that in both arranged and love marriage there is always a spectrum.
Reference
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- Applbaum, K. D. (1995). Marriage with the proper stranger: Arranged marriage in metropolitan Japan. Ethnology, 34(1), 37-51.
- Bennett, L. (1985). Dangerous wives and sacred sisters: Social and symbolic roles of high-caste women in Nepal. Religious Studies, 21(2)
- Berreman, G. D. (1972). Hindus of the Himalayas: Ethnography and change. Univ of California Press.
- Gurung, G. M. (1988). The Process of Indentification and Sanskritiztion: The Duras of West Nepal.
- House, J. S., Landis, K. R., & Umberson, D. (1988). Social relationships and health. Science, 241(4865), 540-545.)
- Myers, J. E., Madathil, J., & Tingle, L. R. (2005). Marriage satisfaction and wellness in India and the United States: A preliminary comparison of arranged marriages and marriages of choice. Journal of Counseling & Development, 83(2), 183-190.
- Saxby Pridmore, G. W. (2013). Suicide and forced marriage. The Malaysian journal of medical sciences: MJMS, 20(2), 47.
- Umberson, D., Williams, K., Powers, D. A., Liu, H., & Needham, B. (2006). You make me sick: Marital quality and health over the life course. Journal of health and social behavior, 47(1), 1-16.
- Wickrama, K. A. S., Lorenz, F. O., Conger, R. D., & Elder Jr, G. H. (1997). Marital quality and physical illness: A latent growth curve analysis. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 143-155.